Monday, November 1, 2010

My wife, Moses

I had no idea -- and I live with the woman -- that my wife had such a natural aptitude for crowd control, and when necessary, crowd CONTROL. We went down to the Stewart/Colbert Rally for Sanity/Fear with the kids. We knew what we were getting into, so the insane crowds didn't put me well over the edge like they usually do, but it was still a lot like walking through snow. While pulling a cart of anvils.

My wife ("Grace,") went into Momma Bear mode pretty fast, though. The boys: strapped down tight. If she'd had time, she would have gotten some of the ratcheting tie-downs from one of the trucks and triple-looped them around Joe and Kolbe. Grace took point and I drove the double-decker stroller. (Sorry about the ankles if you were on the Yellow line on Saturday.) But at one point, after being corralled into three elevators, faced with the prospect of crossing a crowd at least 50 people thick, she'd had enough. Politely, but forcefully, she yelled out over the crowd, "Excuse me! Stroller coming through!" I followed her, crimson-faced, but amazingly enough, the crowd parted like the Red Sea and were able to cross the Metro platform to the wide stroller-friendly "gateway" on the other side.

(The crowd, I must note, was incredibly friendly all day long. On numerous occasions people let us pass. I started feeling a little entitled after awhile, truth be told. Lol.)

Later, Grace said, "Bet you didn't know I could do that, did you?"

"No idea, honey."

I think I'm going to promote my wife to something like "Process Efficiency Expert" or something. After seeing how she went for the goal in the crowds, I bet she could reduce the business' complexity in about one afternoon.

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